Fabulous! Festival - Boo! Edition

Dramatis Personae hosts the Halloween Fabulous! Festival. Ghosts, goblins, and clever last-minute costume ideas abound!

Miss Janey does Halloween right!

Meg at All About Appearances covers all of the Halloween bases, and leaves no headstone unturned.

Gilda at Holiday in the Sun enjoys her first U.S. Halloween, complete with window displays by Patricia Field!

Rebecca at Space Between My Peers re-animates....FRANKENCOAT!!!

and more.

Yours truly is hosting the next Fabulous! Festival on November 12, and the theme this time is Travel Style. Share your thoughs and experiences about travelling, packing, favorite vacations, tips for business trips, shopping for souvenirs, etc. You can submit your Tales of the Road here.

Mutton, Lamb and Keeping Our Cool

Wee cutie pie dressed as lamb.

One expression that pops up frequently when it comes to age inappropriate style is "mutton dressed as lamb," often applied to us old broads when someone feels we aren't following the rules for our age group, whatever they might be at the time. As offensive as I generally find that expression, I do believe there is such a thing as age-appropriate dressing, and that "age-appropriate" can still leave a lot of room for individual style, for flair and creativity, for elegance, and even for a bit of understated sexiness.


I used to participate in the occasional focus group, and one I did many years ago for face cream introduced me to the phrase, "down-aging," meaning that women are looking and acting ten years younger at 40, 50, 60 than they did a generation ago. While I think it's great that we no longer are forced by convention to follow arbitrary dictates once there are a certain number of candles on the cake, tossing the rulebook out the window always results in some floundering.

In our youth-obsessed culture, it's just assumed that we all want to look 25 years old. It seems to une femme that women who have a large part of their identity tied up in being conventionally attractive seem to have the toughest time letting go of styles that worked for them in their youth. In my humble opinion, there is a point where hanging onto the fashions that worked in our 20's starts to backfire, and makes us look not only older, but sometimes even ridiculous. (The exception seems to be those fortunate women who develop a unique and timless style early in life, and hang onto it through the decades.) Even if our weight remains constant, our bodies and faces change with time, and what was flattering for us a couple of decades ago may no longer be so. Too much skin, too much "flounce" (ruffles, lace, eyelet, cutesy details), too much makeup, too many trends worn simultaneously...all of these are traps for the not-so-young woman.

But on the other hand, throwing aside all concern for contemporary style can result in looking dated, frumpy and disengaged, which for women (and men) working in a corporate environment is an economic risk when outsourcing, downsizing, realigning and streamlining means we're often in competition for jobs with recent college grads.

How does one walk that fine line between dressing "too young" and looking like a member of the Sunny Acres Shuffleboard Team? Sherrie Matheison's book, Forever Cool: How to Achieve Ageless, Youthful and Modern Personal Style has some great pointers. Matheison stresses simple, clean lines, choosing colors carefully (she's thumbs down on jewel tones, thumbs up on brights and earth tones), keeping accessories clean and current, and not being afraid of bold jewelry. What I like most about this book is that it's packed full of before-and-after photos of real women of different sizes and doesn't try to squeeze everyone into a single, boring, cookie cutter style. There's also a section for men, and shopping suggestions. While her "after" ensembles aren't universally appealing to me, there's enough variety to get some general ideas that can be adopted to suit one's indivdual preferences. This isn't a book for serious fashionistas, but I think it is one of the more practical style guides out there for les femmes d'un certain age.

These are a couple examples of "after" work looks that appealed to me.

I've mentioned before that I've at times been tempted to hire a stylist, if only for an afternoon to help me go through my closet and figure out what works for me and what doesn't. While I know what appeals to me when I see it on a hanger, I'm not always the greatest judge of how well certain styles look on me, though I am good with colors. It's probably a good idea for us all to get the benefit of a discerning but unbiased eye from time to time to help assess whether updates are needed. While looking like a sweet young thing may no longer be in the cards, looking smart, fresh and contemporary is a real confidence booster. And we're never too old for that.

116 Pounds is the New Fat!

Crap like this is why I started dieting at 14 years old and 103 pounds.

Plumcake and Glinda over in Manololand shred this horseshit quite amusingly, but it just makes me feel sad and angry.

Sad because it brings back all of the years I wasted being obsessed with getting thin, with hating myself, with eating disorders, with putting my life on hold until I achieved a certain size, and with believing that gateway to happiness would open at x pounds.

Angry because some 15 or 13 or 8 year old girl is going to read this magazine, and it's going to reinforce our media/cultural designation of what "fat" is, and she's going to waste years of her life fighting against a normal woman's body, or worse, develop a serious eating disorder. Angry because purveyors of weight loss plans that don't work (and just make us fatter in the long run) are going to get richer. Angry because it validates the sense of entitlement some men have to a) have a wife who always looks like a taut 20-year-old, and b) to try to control what she eats or use her imagined fatness to maintain power over her. (Maybe that's not what's going on in their relationship but when someone decribes a husband who scolds her--"uh, uh, uh"-- for what she eats as "supportive," red flags go up all over the place for me, having been in those kind of relationships myself.) Angry because the normal changes that a woman's body goes through during and after pregnancy are considered ugly and something to hide.

And before anyone goes into "she just wants to be healthy!" territory, weighing 116 and wanting to lose 10 pounds has fuck-all to do with "health".

As Harriet Brown at Feed Me! put this so well a few months ago, writing about Rachel Hunter's comment, "Who doesn't want to lose 20 pounds?":

This kind of fat trash talk is my least favorite. It's the equivalent of the air kiss, the baring of the throat by the subordinate animal. It's a social custom denoting (supposedly) good taste and submissive femininity. The words themselves aren't the point; it's the intention behind them. And the intension is to erase the self, to make yourself as small and thin and weak as possible.

Un Cadeau Pour Vous!

I inadvertently ordered two copies of this absolutely gorgeous book, Parisiennes: A Celebration of French Women. Rather then send one back, I'd like to share it with one of you, so what better excuse for une femme's first contest? If you'd like to enter, add a comment before 12am PST on November 15, and tell me what about French style most inspires you. I'll pick a winner from the answers.

Bonne chance!

Funky Friday - Pampered Pooch Edition

Oh. My. God. When I first saw this product line, I thought it was a joke. Don't get me wrong, I love my dogs; we even let them sleep in the bed with us. One of my dogs doesn't like walking in the rain so I got him a rain poncho ($9 at Target). But this is just too much.
Juicy Crittoure.

Pawfum, $60.

Pawfection Softening Paw Balm, $28.

Polished Paws Nail Polish, $14.

Doggy Jet Set, $55.

o_O

The mind, it reels.

On Tramps and Sweater Girls

She gets too hungry,
for dinner at eight
(Check!)

She loves the theater,
but doesnt come late
(Check!)

She'd never bother,
with people she'd hate
(You'd better believe it, sister!)

Thats why the lady is a tramp


Doesnt like crap games,
with barons and earls
(Heck, just put me in front of the quarter poker machine, I'm good.)

Wont go to harlem,
in ermine and pearls
(Who wears ermine anymore?)

Wont dish the dirt,
with the rest of those girls
(Well, maybe....)

Thats why the lady is a tramp



She loves the free,
fresh wind in her hair
(But those Santa Ana's gotta go!)

Life without care
Shes broke, but its ok
(Ramen noodles, baby!)

She hates california,
its cold and its damp
(We only wish!)

Thats why the lady is a tramp!

Probably the least sexist song ever sung by Frank Sinatra. The way it reads to me is "this woman plays by her own rules, and conventional people slut-shame her for it." Back in the days when popular lore dictated that Good Girls Don't (though that's been shown to mostly have been a myth), there were a number of things that would make a woman's morals suspect. Being divorced, being too independent, wearing "too much" makeup or form-fitting sweaters all were cause for clucking and castigation. The same sweaters that might have raised suspicion back in the fifties seem almost modest now (or maybe it was those rocket-nosecone bras that made them seem so risqué).

But the reason I actually led off this post with those lyrics was because I had been certain that in there somewhere was a line about "prefers cashmere to furs." And I wanted to write about cashmere. What the heck, I'm going to write about cashmere anyway.

My cashmere habit began many years ago on my first ski trip with my then-boyfriend-later-to-be-husband and his family. His mom loaned me a moth-eaten, navy cashmere crewneck sweater to wear as a warm layer underneath my flimsy parka. I couldn't believe something so light could be so warm! And soft! One taste, and I was hooked.


I've purchased several cashmere sweaters over the years of varying quality and price. While some might be more stylish, you can't beat Land's End cashmere pieces for a good quality/price ratio. Like all of their clothes, the workmanship is quite good, and their cashmere is soft, but sturdy and doesn't pill or look shabby after several wearings.


This cashmere cardigan in heather grey is one I wear quite frequently during the cooler months. The styling is classic, it goes with everything, and was a go-to layering piece for a majority of our Paris trip.







One of my favorite styles is a V-neck. I recently realized I didn't have one in a neutral color, and just ordered this one in black.








Bloomingdale's Sutton Studio line also offers some nice styles and colors, and if you can hold out until they go on sale in January, you can get some fantastic bargains.
Tunic, $169.





Wrap sweater, $149. (Love this color!!)

Where There's Smoke

Fortunately, Chez Femme is miles away from any of the fires burning right now. (We live in what I call the "urbburbs," single and multi-family residential area in the middle of more urban areas.)

But the air is still very smoky, and it looks like we're still a day or two out from much relief weather-wise. Hopefully by Friday we'll be back in an onshore flow pattern, which will bring cooler, moister air our way.

Please hold a good thought for those whose homes are in danger, and especially for those who have lost their homes and livelihoods.

Tally Ho

Having grown up around horses, une femme has always had a soft spot for equestrian-themed clothing and accessories. The look is classic and timeless, but if you don't wish to appear to be on your way to a riding lesson, don't wear it head-to-toe. By mixing one or two equestrian inspired pieces with other basics, you'll keep the effect fresh, and not overdone.

Riding boots are hot right now, which means there are a lot of choices available. I prefer a simpler boot, without a lot of extraneous buckles, straps or hardware to look dated in a year or so. Here are some options, all under $200.

Etienne Aigner

Sudini

AK Anne Klein

Or, for a little over $200, you can have the real deal: Ariat.

A hacking jacket is another horsey item that translates well to a classic work wardrobe. Ralph Lauren made his bones on equestrian-inspired wear, and hasn't lost his touch.

Tweed hacking jacket.

Or again, you can go with the real thing.

RJ Classics Hunt Coat.

Scarves can also be easily incorporated into one's regular wardrobe. To keep from looking like the Queen Mum, pass up the elaborate knots and throw over your shoulders casually, with a "this-old-thing?" insouciance.

Brooks Brothers

Or, the Mother of Them All, Hermés.

I know jodphurs have made an appearance on the runways recently, but frankly, that's one item I'd skip. Not only are they rarely flattering, but they're tough to wear without looking a tad...costume-y...

...or worse.

Eeek!! She's Got a Knife!!!

Halloween has always been une femme's favorite holiday. As a child, I used to start drawing pictures of ghosts and jack-o-lanterns and owls around mid-August, and driving my mother crazy by wanting to go costume shopping. (Back then, stores didn't start carrying Halloween stuff until the first of October, and didn't put up the Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. Ah, simpler times.) Halloween especially, still brings out my kitschy, traditional, nostalgic side. And let's not forget "corny."

The only candy I still nostalgia-binge on is Brach's Autumn Mix (regular candy corn, chocolate candy corn and the waxy candy pumpkins that are so sugary they burn the back of your throat). For the first two weeks of October, I eat it for a few days a handful at a time until I'm sick, throw the rest of the bag away, and buy another bag a few days later. Rinse, repeat.


Our neighborhood gets into cheesy holiday decorating, especially for Halloween.

The Enchanted Candy Corn Forest:


Le Chat Noir practicing his Halloween schtick on my dogs:














Dead Pirates seems to be a popular theme this year:

God, I hope that's a broom...







Boo.














Consequently, our neighborhood is a big draw for trick-or-treaters, and we usually get between 250-350 kids showing up at our door each year. Yes, we buy our candy at Costco.

While I no longer dress up beyond donning a witch hat, there's one area where I still give my creative side free rein: pumpkin carving. No plastic, pre-carved, electric pumpkins for this femme! Only the old fashioned, messy, candle-lit version will do. I choose my pumpkins carefully, looking for those that have some irregularities or interesting shapes. This gets tougher each year, as the pumpkins available seem to be bred more and more for uniformity. I often have to splurge on the more exotic varieties to get some gourd diversity, and wait to carve until just a few days before the holiday to avoid mold. Like a mad murderess, I savor the whole process, that first barbaric stab of the knife, the smell of pumpkin guts as I evicerate, the design that seems to spring from the shape and personality of the gourd itself, and especially the finished product. While my jack-o-lanterns are a bit rough due to my freehand filet knife technique and would never impess the Martha Stewarts of the world, I do think they have a lot of personality.

I had taken more pictures last year with the jack-o-lanterns lit up, but lost them when our hard drive crashed before we could back up all of the picture files.

Land's End Custom Shirt Report

My custom shirt from Land's End arrived yesterday. Here's the short version: meh.

The fabric is lovely, the workmanship fabulous, but the fit, not so much. The sleeve length is perfect, but the body of the shirt fits like an oversized potato sack. If I'd ordered the plain back instead of a center pleat, I'd consider taking this into the tailor and have some darts added, but alas, it's getting a one-way ticket back to Wisconsin. Frankly, I can get a much better fit straight off the rack from Talbot's.

Funky Friday - Bonus Round

There's only one thing you can say when you see a picture like this:

Holy S&*T!!!

Just say No, Jennifer, just say No! Seriously, she looks like an overgrown toddler on her way to eat cat poop out of the sandbox.

Funky Friday - Geometry Midterm Edition

Wearable Op Art?

It's a Mod, Mod, Mod, Mod Coat.

I'm starting to see a pattern here....

Redecorating

Yes, I'm playing around with templates and colors. Opinions welcome, please chime in.

Le Maquillage - Les Yeux

Une femme has a confession: I have a sordid past. Back in the 80's, I was seriously into eye shadow. Makeup in general actually, but in accordance with current fashion back then, I used to wear three and four different colors of eye shadow at a time. It didn't help that one of my best friends at the time decided to sell Mary Kay. Between the turquoise/peach/gold eye shadow trios and the Pretty Pumpkin lipstick, well...let's just let those images moulder in the dust of history. (And the big hair too, but that's a scary story for another day.)

In the 90's, Bobbi Brown swept in with the natural look, and we swapped our peacock colors for taupes and browns and beiges. At some point, I realized I was spending quite a bit of time each day applying makeup that ultimately was rather drab and boring, so for the waning years of the 20th century, my makeup philosophy could be summed up as, "why bother?"


But in the last few years, the pendulum has swung back to the middle, makeup-wise. Even if time weren't my primary consideration, my days of Supa-Glam have passed. It's this femme's humble yet staunch position, that once we hit un certain age, complex, overdone make-up detracts rather than adds. (And I don't care what your age, the current fad for "raccoon eyes" just looks tacky and needs to go!) What I strive for these days is minimal makeup that will have a maximal effect.

Concealer: I never used to bother with this, but lately I've started using a little Clarins on my undereye circles. I like this product because it doesn't collect in the fine lines or look cakey. Wearing glasses tends to cast a bit of dark shadows on the eye area anyway, and a little light concealer helps counterract this, and keeps me from looking like I was up partying with Barnabas Collins all night.

Liner: I used to be hopeless with applying eyeliner. Then a couple of years ago I was over at Barney's doing some Balenciaga bag reconnaissance for a friend, and got corraled into getting a Nars makeover. Usually one steps away from these things looking like a freak show, but the woman who worked on me was quite good and took me seriously when I told her I preferred a more natural look. She showed me an eyeliner technique that looks great and has yet to fail me. Using an eyeliner brush like this, you dampen some dark powder eye shadow, load up the brush and then tap along the upper lid, aiming for the base of the lashes rather than the eyelid itself. Apply your eyeshadow over the liner for a softer look. Works like a dream. Even so, this is relegated to "special occasion" makeup, because I just don't have time to do this in the mornings.

Shadow: Hardly ever wear it anymore either. One I like, except that it tends to crumble, is Nars "Dream Lover". It's a lighter and darker shade of greyish green, which I just mix and use on the lid and to just above the crease.


What I do wear most days is mascara. First, I curl my lashes because they tend to be long and will leave smudges on the inside of my glasses if I don't. Then comes the Diorshow. I've tried a lot of mascaras, cheap and not, and this one goes on without clumps, doesn't flake, and doesn't irritate my eyes. It's harder to hit that trifecta than you might imagine. I keep it to a light coat or two, just enough to open my eyes up a bit.



Brows: I plucked the crap out of my brows back in high school in the 70's when the look was to have almost no brows at all, and they mostly never grew back. I tried pencilling to fill in, and brow gels, but now that I have a hair stylist who will also "do" my brows (a little trimming, shaping and coloring) I don't have to do anything to them on a daily basis except occasionally round up the strays. But of all the brow products I tried, Bobbi Brown's brow gel is probably the easiest to use and gives the most natural looking results.



Well for someone who doesn't wear a lot of makeup, I do go on about it. We'll save lips and cheeks for next time.

Dog Bob

Poor Coco! She's been chewing the hair on her ears and making them all raggedy, so when she went to the groomer last weekend for a bath, the groomer decided to trim the rest of her ears to even things up.



So now she reminds me of a silent screen starlet,









Or even perhaps her namesake.

Fabulous! Festival Workplace Edition

The latest Fabulous! Festival is up at Space Between My Peers, and deals with a topic near and dear to une femme's heart, The Workplace. I haven't had a chance to read all of the submissions, yet, but I've noticed that several other participants share my views regarding "Business Casual." ;-)

Le Maquillage - La Poudre

These days, une femme's makeup philosophy is firmly planted in the "less is more" camp. For one thing, I just don't have the time or energy to perform a complicated routine every morning. For another, I think I mostly look better without a lot of makeup.

I had been wearing sheer liquid foundations (everything from Neutrogena to Chanel) but a couple of years ago, I noticed that my skin was seeming more prone to breakouts, so I thought I'd give the mineral foundations a try. The first I tried was the popular "Bare Essentuals" line. While it did improve the condition of my skin, it also looked a little too powdery, settled into my pores and fine lines, and was just plain messy to deal with. I tried Laura Mercier's version, which is supposedly finer than Bare Essentuals, but with the same result.

My hair stylist also works part time at the MAC counter at Nordstroms and recommended the MAC Studio Fix powder compact. I was much happier with the look, and loved being able to carry along in my purse for touchups if needed without having a powdery mess all over everything else.

Then a few weeks ago I wandered into the newly opened Blue Mercury store at the mall, mostly out of curiosity. I'd never heard of it before, but it's like Sephora on Valium. No aisles so crowded that you're bumping displays with your bag, no thumping club music. They offer some spa services as well (facials, waxing, body treatments). Their products are a bit more upscale, and they carry brands that aren't commonly found in other venues. I originally was looking for a new lipstick, as I am the Queen of Lipstick/Lipgloss Junkies. The Sales Associate (herself une femme d'un certain age which is always refreshing) introduced me to T. LeClerc products, and directed me right to a fabulous cinnamon-y (but not too dark) lip color that I can wear day or night, depending on how heavily I apply. She also dusted me with the pressed powder in "Ambre", and I found my powder Vahalla. The coverage is light, but enough to cancel the shine and correct the redness on my nose and chin, and makes the pores on my nose disappear. Completely.

So now I'm hoping this store makes a go of it and stays open, because I'm hooked on the T. LeClerc products, and the selection available online seems to be sparse. I'm also hoping to make some time to get in there for a facial; once I do I'll report back.

Next up, Les yeux.