What I've Figured Out So Far

A few days ago Shefaly at La Vie Quotidienne tagged me for a meme, Lessons in Hindsight. If I were to go back and give my 20-year-old self some advice, this would be it:

1. Very few decisions are irreversable or at least unalterable. Those choices that seem like life-and-death in your 20's (which college to attend, which job to take, which shoes to wear on a first date) will not determine the outcome of your entire life. Relax, go with what makes sense at the time, and change course as necessary. While decisions do have consequences, your entire life is not cast in stone at 18, 21 or 35. Learn from mistakes and choose better next time.

2. A sense of humor will help get you through just about anything. Some of what happens in life is out of our control; the only thing we can control is how we respond to it. Humor can be a back door to finding strength and courage, and help keep the "poor-pitiful-me's" in check.

3. You're always committed to something, whether you're aware of it or not. Examine your surroundings and relationships for a good indicator as to what you've been committed to. The trick to living an effective and satisfying life is to choose your committments consciously.

4. You can't fuck someone into loving you.

5. Life is too short to fill it with people, activities, or possessions that you don't enjoy. While there will always be some obligations you absolutely cannot wiggle out of, if the "shoulds" are running your life it's time to step back and remind yourself that you do have a choice.

6. In many endeavors, the secrect to success is often just to outlast the bastards. Perserverance is an underrated virtue. Put your head down, do your work, do your best to stay out of the office politics.

7. For greater peace of mind, don't take it personally. The grouchy taxi driver, the boss who doesn't have time to read your report right now, the roommate who says she needs to study instead of going out for a beer, the boyfriend who stays up all night rebuilding a carburetor...in all likelihood it's not because of something you said or did. Most people are caught up in their own Stuff, and if the sales clerk is less than helpful it's probably because she's upset over a fight with her boyfriend or is hung over, and not because she thinks you're a disgusting slug because you didn't wash your hair that morning.

8. Make kindness a way of life. Nothing else costs so little and yields so much. While some people may seem to bring their misfortunes on themselves, keep a healthy dose of "there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I" in mind.

9. What you put out into the universe will come back to you. Positive people tend to attract other positive people. Gratitude will bring you more to be grateful for.

10. My Goldilocks Philosophy: luxury isn't about having more/bigger/more expensive, it's about having what's Just Right.

I'm tagging Maya's Granny, materfamilias, and La Bellette Rouge (once the adrenaline from her Whirlwind Weasel tour of NY wears off) if they wish to participate. Anyone else who would like to run with the meme, go for it and leave a link in the comments!