Orange You Ready For Spring?

Une femme doesn't usually get very excited about Spring fashions, not being much of a florals/pastels/West Palm Beach Brights kind of girl. Fall is the season that really floats my boat, style-wise.

But a few sunshine bright accessories have caught my eye, and if you're in the Not Ready For Lilly Pullitzer Club, adding a few touches of color to an otherwise neutral pallette can bring a little early printemps to your repertoire.

These sunny tangerine flats by Stuart Weitzman would look smashing with dark wash or white jeans. (Yes, I know for most of us it's still too cold to wear these, but just think about that first warm day and how great it will feel to slip these on!)

This bag from Banana Republic is a great shade of orange which is surprisingly neutral (this bag would take a basic navy/white ensemble up several notches on the style scale!):

If spring showers make you nervous about carrying your favorite bags, here's a pretty nylon Longchamp Le Pliage bag (favorite bag of les Parisiennes) that laughs at an afternoon drencher.If you're in a Mod, Mod Mood you could do worse than these Pucci peep toes:

In this femme's opinion, Cole Haan has some of the best handbag values for the money, and this work tote puts the "fun" back in functional.
But for undeniable chic, even in safety orange, you can't go wrong with a vintage Hermés scarf...

Confection Perfection

Monday on the way home from my doctor's appointment (first official post-op, doc was pleased with my progress but didn't clear me to drive yet) we stopped at Le Pain Quotidien to get some of the good bread when le mari noticed that Sprinkles Cupcakes was right across the street. And there was no line. We brought half a dozen home, but two mysteriously disappeared before I could recharge the camera battery. ;-) These are absolute cupcake heaven...light moist cake and lovely rich frosting.

What Lies Underneath

A few months back I wrote about my Spanx Conversion, which while not quite a religious experience, did broaden my sartorial horizons a great deal. (Can you say, "pencil skirt"?)

But it seemed a bit extreme (and warm) to wear the Spanx under jeans and other more casual ensembles, so I continued to wear my Victoria's Secret cotton Granny Panties in those circumstances, and lived with some VPL. I kept my eye out for panties that promised "no panty lines!" but they were almost always nylon (without going into TMI territory, a girl's gotta breathe) or were far too expensive or delicate (like I'm going to hand wash a pair of panties every night!) for every day wear.

While shopping for some sleepwear for my recent hospital stay, I wandered into the Soma store, which is the Chico's lingerie line. Now I know Everyone Hates Chico's (or at least all of the fashion bloggers do, a topic which I plan to explore soon), but their Soma line has some practical and pretty sleepwear. While I was there, they were pushing the Vanishing Edge Panty, so I picked up a pair. Readers, these babies work. Instead of elastic in the back, they have silicone on the inside leg openings, which keeps them from riding up while maintaining a line-less appearance. They are comfortable, they breathe, and they can be washed/dried à la machine. The colors are limited, but they're available in four different styles, and while not cheap, they seem to be pretty well made. They run small, so order a size up from your usual.

Mundane Monday: Skeletons From the Closet

Pieter Breugel: The Peasant Dance, 1568

Une femme is feeling confessional: I used to be a Faire Nerde.

In my early 30's I was part of a dance group that performed 16th Century English Country dances at various Renaissance Faires throughout the state. It was some of the most fun I've ever had. As part of our performance, we were required to wear costumes that were as historically accurate as possible, which presents some challenges when you're also required to dance vigorously for three half-hour sets on stage, often in weather over 90 degrees. While the average Elizabethan may have worn multiple layers of wool garments, we used cotton. Class designations in Elizabethan England were rigid, and there were sumptuary laws to prevent one from dressing above one's station. For comfort and practicality, our costumes were meant to approximate what prosperous peasants to lower middle class Elizabethans would have worn.

Here are some of my favorite costume pieces, dug out of the back of the closet. (All sewn by moi.)

This one is more fancy, it's a peach color with teal ribbon accent. It's hard to see, but the blouse has box pleats on the collar and cuffs. The skirt (which is actually full length) would have been worn over another skirt, and tucked up into a belt to show off the underskirt, and to help keep the nicer top skirt clean. The bodice, which would be worn tightly laced has boning and some pretty stiff interfacing; it's actually quite supportive and comfortable and makes wearing a bra under your costume unnecessary.

Another favorite bodice.

This is a chocolate brown corduroy hooded cloak with a light green lining. When you camp out at Faire, it often gets quite cold at night, and it's nice to have something warm on while you're quaffing ale and singing Elizabethan drinking songs around the campfire. It also doubles as a blanket over the sleeping bag.

I love the Celtic knot hook on this cloak.

Anyhow, if you know anyone who's around a size 6-8 (short) and needs a woman's Renaissance costume, let me know. I might be willing to to have some of these pieces find a new home. There are also some other bodices and skirts; e-mail me if you're interested.

Sage Advice or Ageism?

It's no secret that we live in a culture that doesn't exactly revere our elders. It's generally assumed that "looking younger" is a universal and laudable goal. Now, that goal is even being packaged as an economic investment, especially for women (but men aren't immune). To get a better job, or to keep the one you have, getting bleached, dyed, nipped, tucked, lipo'd, and/or botoxed is presented as a smart career move. Employers want people who are keeping up with the times in a fast-paced, constantly changing environment, we're told, and looking like the grandmother of the hiring manager signals that we no longer have the energy or mental nimbleness to keep up. The generation that declared, "never trust anyone over 30" is now reaping what we've sown.

One of the latest and most unambiguously titled books in this arena is How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better by Charla Krupp. I haven't read the book, but according to the New York Times article Nice Résumé. Have You Considered Botox?,

The book is the latest makeover title to treat the aging of one’s exterior as a disease whose symptoms are to be fought to the death or, at least, mightily camouflaged. But the book offers a serious rationale for such vigilant attempts at age control, arguing that trying to pass for younger is not so much a matter of sexual allure as of job security.

“Looking hip is not just about vanity anymore, it’s critical to every woman’s personal and financial survival,” according to the book jacket.

The NYT writer, Natasha Singer goes on to say:

Many people would shun a book if it were titled “How Not to Look Jewish” or “How Not to Look Gay” because to cater to discrimination is to capitulate to it. But the success of “How Not to Look Old” indicates that popular culture is willing to buy into ageism as an acceptable form of prejudice, even against oneself.

“Ageism is one of the last frontiers of discrimination where people think that a way around it is not to be seen to age, but we would never say that women should try to look or act more male in order to avoid sexism,” said Molly Andrews, a psychologist who is a director of the Center for Narrative Research at the University of East London.

I'm of a mixed mind about this. In my line of work, we really don't care about age so much as experience, and whether the individual seems to have kept up with technology and is willing to continue to learn. Some of the most forward-thinking people I deal with daily are well over 50 and don't go to great pains to hide it. Still, if I were to find myself unemployed tomorrow, I'd probably be scrutinizing my appearance and wanting to present myself as energized and contemporary if not necessarily younger. At this point in my life, I'd probably draw the line at anything medical though.

What about you? Does age impact your career? How far would you go to improve your job prospects?

Shirley Does Chanel

Shirley MacLaine is currently in Paris filming a biopic about Coco Chanel, according to an article in the LAT, which further Googling reveals to be a Lifetime mini-series.

Best part of the article was this quote by Mademoiselle Chanel:

"Fashion has become a joke. The designers have forgotten that there are women inside the dresses. Most women dress for men and want to be admired. But they must also be able to move, to get into a car without bursting their seams! Clothes must have a natural shape."

What I've Figured Out So Far

A few days ago Shefaly at La Vie Quotidienne tagged me for a meme, Lessons in Hindsight. If I were to go back and give my 20-year-old self some advice, this would be it:

1. Very few decisions are irreversable or at least unalterable. Those choices that seem like life-and-death in your 20's (which college to attend, which job to take, which shoes to wear on a first date) will not determine the outcome of your entire life. Relax, go with what makes sense at the time, and change course as necessary. While decisions do have consequences, your entire life is not cast in stone at 18, 21 or 35. Learn from mistakes and choose better next time.

2. A sense of humor will help get you through just about anything. Some of what happens in life is out of our control; the only thing we can control is how we respond to it. Humor can be a back door to finding strength and courage, and help keep the "poor-pitiful-me's" in check.

3. You're always committed to something, whether you're aware of it or not. Examine your surroundings and relationships for a good indicator as to what you've been committed to. The trick to living an effective and satisfying life is to choose your committments consciously.

4. You can't fuck someone into loving you.

5. Life is too short to fill it with people, activities, or possessions that you don't enjoy. While there will always be some obligations you absolutely cannot wiggle out of, if the "shoulds" are running your life it's time to step back and remind yourself that you do have a choice.

6. In many endeavors, the secrect to success is often just to outlast the bastards. Perserverance is an underrated virtue. Put your head down, do your work, do your best to stay out of the office politics.

7. For greater peace of mind, don't take it personally. The grouchy taxi driver, the boss who doesn't have time to read your report right now, the roommate who says she needs to study instead of going out for a beer, the boyfriend who stays up all night rebuilding a carburetor...in all likelihood it's not because of something you said or did. Most people are caught up in their own Stuff, and if the sales clerk is less than helpful it's probably because she's upset over a fight with her boyfriend or is hung over, and not because she thinks you're a disgusting slug because you didn't wash your hair that morning.

8. Make kindness a way of life. Nothing else costs so little and yields so much. While some people may seem to bring their misfortunes on themselves, keep a healthy dose of "there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I" in mind.

9. What you put out into the universe will come back to you. Positive people tend to attract other positive people. Gratitude will bring you more to be grateful for.

10. My Goldilocks Philosophy: luxury isn't about having more/bigger/more expensive, it's about having what's Just Right.

I'm tagging Maya's Granny, materfamilias, and La Bellette Rouge (once the adrenaline from her Whirlwind Weasel tour of NY wears off) if they wish to participate. Anyone else who would like to run with the meme, go for it and leave a link in the comments!

Maquillage, Encore

During the warm summer and fall months, I'd been wearing just T. LeClerc pressed powder instead of any foundation, and was quite satisfied with the results. But as the weather turned cooler and drier, I found myself looking just a tad more powdery than I'd like. A few weeks ago Linda Grant at The Thoughtful Dresser posted about meeting make-up artist Mary Greenwell, who recommended Chanel Teint Innocence cream-to-powder foundation. Not long after, I was perusing the Chanel counter and decided to give it a try. Quel miracle! I apply with a foundation brush and it manages to even out my skin tone, cut shine and redness while at the same time seeming to disappear into my skin. I've always been partial to Chanel foundations, but this one is the hands-down winner.

Also in the interest of looking more dewy and less powdery, I've switched Orgasms....from NARS Orgasm blush in powder to cream stick. In the past, I've found cream blushes to be too heavy, but NARS gets it just right. The color is dewy with just a hint of sparkle, and doesn't look like 80's war paint.

Skirting the Issue - Part Deux

Wishful thinking, peut-etre, but I'm not yet convinced that those of us who aren't blessed with the lean-and-leggy gene have to sit on the sidelines when it comes to wearing ankle boots with skirts. From the New York Times Style section, I lifted a few photos that help provide some hints as to what might work and what pitfalls to avoid.

First, what seems to work:

Note the darker skirt and hose/tights, and that the boots fit pretty narrowly at the ankle.

Here's one that some might find intruiging, but just seems wrong to me. Aside from years of having "never wear shoes that are lighter than your legwear" drummed into my brain, the lighter boot seems to blend in too much with the pavement, making it look like her leg is cut off at the ankle. Those boots would be really cute with jeans, though.

And here are a couple that IMO just don't work. On the first, the wide opening at the top and the cuff draw the eye horizontally which shortens the leg. On the second, the light coat creates a giant block of color that interrupts the vertical line. And what's with the white contrast on those boots? Ugh.

Once my orthopedist has cleared me for takeoff (to get out of my loafers and back into a little heel), I'm going to lend my body to science and try this for myself, and I'll share my findings.

Finding Myself Through Food

Jan Steen: Girl Eating Oysters

I was just catching up over at Harriet Brown's terrific blog, Feed Me! and this post really resonated with my own experience. Lately I've been tempted to write about this, especially with Diet Season™ in full swing with it's onslaught of advertising for various weight loss schemes, drugs and scams.

Harriet quotes Ellyn Satter, a therapist who specializes in food and eating issues:

Competent eaters have positive attitudes about eating and therefore are relaxed about it. They enjoy food and eating and they are comfortable with their enjoyment. They feel it is okay to eat food they like in amounts they find satisfying.


And,

...competent eaters are emotionally and socially healthier than people with low levels of eating competence. They feel more effective, they are more self-aware, and they are more trusting and comfortable with themselves and with other people.


I started dieting in earnest at 14 years old and 103 pounds. I'd been a chubby kid, and even though I'd grown out of my "baby fat," I still thought of myself as fat. My family and friends encouraged the endeavor, and after a week of nothing but cottage cheese, hot dogs and turkey lunch meat, I was down to 95 pounds. Everyone raved about how great I looked. Of course, it didn't last, and soon I was on a cycle of starving/bingeing, losing/gaining that was to last for a many years at my most disordered, and on/off for a couple of decades afterward. During these times I was perpetually anxious around people, around food, and had no sense of who I was or what I wanted. I remember telling a friend, "sometimes I feel like an onion; just keep peeling away the layers and there's no core, just more layers."

I envied my friends who seemed to have a normal and uncomplicated relationship with eating, who could have one cookie or one piece of their mom's zucchini bread, and who didn't seem to be thinking about food All. The. Time. For me, eating "normally" was impossible. I was always hungry, always thinking about food: what I could eat, what I couldn't eat, how I was going to resist having birthday cake at the party, how I was going to be able to sneak back into the kitchen to grab another piece of pizza and then sneak into the bathroom to wolf it down. Today I understand that this was a normal physiological reaction to periodic semi-starvation, but back then I thought it was because I was weak-willed and indulgent, had no willpower, and was morally flawed. Not trusting myself around food spilled over into not trusting myself in most other areas of my life. I had friends who put me down and boyfriends who constantly bugged me about my weight and commented about every bite I took, and I thought this was what I deserved. I wore clothes that were too small and uncomfortable because I thought by punishing myself I'd be more motivated to lose weight.

One day in my early 20's, I was perusing the shelves of my favorite used bookstore, and found myself with a copy of "Fat is a Feminist Issue" in my hands. At the risk of sounding trite, this was a life-changing book for me. I gave myself permission to stop dieting, and almost immediately I stopped bingeing. For the first time in years, I left food on my plate. While it did take a few years to get fully back in tune with my body's hunger and satiety messages, I initially experienced a freedom around food that I previously thought I'd lost forever.


And as I became more in touch with my body again, I also became more in touch with myself, my likes and dislikes, and started living more from the inside out not only in regards to the superficial things but also in regard to the people and relationships in my life. I began to think less in terms of "do they like me?" and more in terms of "do I like them?" It wasn't a smooth or simple path; several times over the next couple of decades I lapsed back into dieting, and each time the anxiety around food and social situations reasserted itself. I haven't given up wishing I were a bit thinner; I'm just no longer willing to sacrifice this peace of mind I have today to that goal. I still worry too much about what others think of me, but am no longer devastated by disapproval. I no longer believe that my self-worth comes from wearing a smaller size, or that having dessert makes me a weak or bad person. And more often than not, I am able to eat a few bites until I'm satisfied, and leave the rest on my plate. By disengaging from our culture's disordered attitude toward food and eating, I've achieved a normal and healthy relationship with food, and with it, a sense of comfort about life in general.

Edited to add: Proof again that great minds think alike, ;-) Maya's Granny has some insightful thoughts today on this topic.

Foodies' Day Out - The Perfect Croque Monsieur

Photo: www.la.com

Yesterday to celebrate Leg Liberation Day, le mari took me to lunch at comme Ça Brasserie in West Hollywood. We started with a glass of the Roderer Estate champagne. The Croque Monsier practically jumped off the menu at me, so I knew that's what I'd be ordering, even though there might be more intruiging options. And I was not sorry. It was the most fabulous CM I've ever enjoyed. Le mari ordered the Comme Ça Burger and was not disappointed. For dessert I had the Apple Tarte Tartin and he had the chocolate Brioche pudding, both of which were served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream over ground pistacios and were fabulous.

Sevice overall was great, though by the time we ordered dessert, the place was packed and it did take a while for our desserts to come out. As with all LA restaurants, the noise level is high once tables start to fill up.



Comme Ça is on Melose Avenue just east of La Cienaga. Deux thumbs up!

Parisians in Their Natural Habitat

Just so you have something to wash away the image of my funky medical devices, the folks at Parisescapes.com have updated the "What Parisians Are Wearing" photo gallery.

Funky Friday - Leg Liberation Day!!! Edition

Some funky legwear you won't see on the runways this season. In a few hours, I get to kiss these bad boys GOODBYE!!!

The day before my surgery, I was asked by my surgeon's office to participate in a medical research study. Instead of the standard procedure which involves daily injections of blood thinning drugs for two weeks after surgery prevent blood clots, I was selected to wear these cuffs for 10 days instead. They periodically apply pressure squeezing upward on the calves to help move blood through the veins. They're attached to a small portable pump, and I've been required to wear them 24/7 since the surgery except for two or three 30-minute breaks per day. I'm still glad I didn't get selected for the control group who gets the shots, but I will be VERY glad be done with these. So will mon mari; we're going out to lunch to celebrate after I turn the equipment back in to the doctor.

Skirting the Issue - Part Un

Une femme's relationship with skirts has had its ups and downs, and I'm not just talking hemlines. I love the idea of them, but the execution is at times problematic.

As a child, I was mostly put into dresses instead of skirts, as my mother believed that dresses were more slimming. And I hated that feeling of a blouse coming untucked. In college, I sewed myself a blue calico wrap skirt that I wore almost every day with a Mexican peasant blouse (and a sweater in the cooler months) for a year, being too broke to buy any other clothes. The 80's and early 90's were the era of the long broomstick skirt with a tunic length top over, and I'll admit to having embraced that trend, again believing it was slimming. But in recent years, une femme has not been a great enthusiast of the skirt. Anything requiring the wearing of pantyhose (I do not go barelegged except for the occasional weekend capri pant) was just too much trouble and required too great of a sacrifice of comfort. But since last year, my position has softened a bit, thanks in part to Spanx, in part to discovering that even a short, curvy femme can rock a pencil skirt, (thanks again to the late, mostly great Forth & Towne) and in part, to inspiration like this:
Photo: The Sartorialist

I really love this fuller silhouette (and the pocketses, preciousssss!), and recently purchased a similar style from J.Crew. At $1800, the original was a bit trop cher pour moi. When the J.Crew version arrived embellished with some ungodly huge-and-ugly beltloops, a trip to the tailor to remove them was the first order of business. In experimenting with how to wear it, I quickly determined that Ms. Herrera's look above did not work for me, being too busty and short-waisted to carry off a tucked in white blouse. But once I'm a bit more mobile, I plan to try some other combinations, most of which will probably involve some iteration of a black top.

Owning a great pair of knee-high boots has also been an impetus to get me back into skirts. It's tough to go wrong with a skirt/boots ensemble, and the look is really timeless. But I've also recently been tempted to try ankle boot with skirts. Next up: is there a way to wear this look without making one's legs resemble tree trunks?

These Internets!

Right now I'm watching a small white sailboat pass through the locks on the Panama Canal. My brother-in-law and his girlfriend are on that boat, helping some friends get the boat from the Pacific to the Atlantic side. The tiny white sailboat behind the barge is them.

Edited to add: here's another shot after the barge and the other boat pulled away.

Fashion Oxymorons

There are many fashion concepts and terms that make une femme scratch her head. "Sportswear" is one. Like we're supposed to play tennis in this stuff??? Another is the concept of the Resort/Cruise Collection. Now, I've never been on a cruise, but I have been to a resort or two. Based on my own limited resort-going, and the fashion sense of my relatives who "cruise" regularly, I strongly suspect that you see far less of this snaking down the conga line...

than this:

Chez moi

I've been home since Friday afternoon, and enjoying (almost) every minute. No more technicolor dreams (and extreme nausea) brought on by pain meds, no more "coffee" that tastes like something wrung out of a dirty dishcloth, my own bed and best of all my family and pups nearby.

I'm getting aroung on one crutch, and experiencing negligible levels of pain (0-2 in nurse parlance). Still having to spend more time in bed than I'd prefer, but I'm trying to be a good patient and not overdo. Thanks again to everyone for your good wishes.

Am hoping to resume somewhat normal posting by early next week with more musings on shoes, "Cruise" and more.

Road to Recovery Blogging

Just wanted to check in and say "Hi" over what is possibly the world's slowest Wi-fi connection. The surgery went well, and I've been up and walking already.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. Should be home by Friday and already have a Funky Friday post ready to go.

Pre-Op Prep

My idea of evening medication: "Patient in 325B - vodka, three olives."

• Pedicure - Check! (won't be able to reach my feet for a few weeks)


• Leg wax - Check! (ditto shaving)


• Hair color and cut - Check!


• Robe, slippers and sleep shirts - Check!


• Reading material - Check!

If only they could just sedate me now.

Blogging will probably be light the rest of the week, unless I somehow root out an unsecured Wi-fi network a l'hospitalier.

Pour les hommes

photo: http://memory.loc.gov/ndlpcoop/ichicdn/n0654/n065457.jpg

Mon mari, who is a purist and up until now has shunned shaving/skincare "products" just tried the Molton Brown supershave olibanum I bought for him.

His revelation: "Wow, talk about the right tools for the right job!" He gives it an enthusiastic two thumbs up.

Convalescent Chic

...is an oxymoron, I've decided.

Much to my chagrin, I'll admit to having purchased a track-suity-thing to wear to and from the hospital, having been warned that my hip and leg will probably be a bit swollen after the surgery, and getting into my regular jeans/trousers would probably be impossible. I had to grit my teeth when I handed over the money, as I detest the ubiquitous tracksuit-as-daywear trend that seems to show little sign of waning here in LA, and up until now have refused to consider one.

Trying to find a new robe for the hospital was another challenge. If you've shopped for sleepwear lately, you may have noticed that the majority of colors available are more appropriate for decorating a nursery (babee peenk or babee bwue) than for an adult, and styles/fabrics available seem mostly to reside only on the extreme two ends of the contiuum of Nighties for Grandma to Nighties for Nookie. I finally ended up with a plain white robe and a couple of Asian patterned sleep shirts from the Soma store at 60% off. (My silk pajamas are NOT going to the hospital, and I don't plan to spend 3-4 days in an open-assed hospital gown, especially walking the halls and during physical therapy! Une femme has her standards, even in extremis.)

picture by artist TAVIK FRANTISEK SIMON (1877-1942)

Funky Friday - Unsafe at Any Age Edition

1954 Corvair, photo www.cadvision.com

Style Spy cranks up the Eeeeuuuuw Factor with corset-laced jeans.

Low Resolution

Une femme doesn't really do New Year's resolutions anymore. For more years than I care to admit, my staunch resolution each year was to Lose Weight™, usually accompanied by a heaping cup of self-flagellation. But that old adage about the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result) finally made it through my diet-addled brain, and I gave up on that little exercise in futility. (Don't let that ad campaign fool you...Weight Watchers IS A DIET.)

Besides, autumn has always seemed more like the time of year of new beginnings. It's probably a holdover from school days, with new classes and teachers and books and, of course, clothes. Autumn is the time when I tend to do the most wardrobe replenishing, as fall fabrics and colors generally work best for me. Autumn is also the time of the Jewish High Holidays, when we renew our committment to tikkun olam (healing the world). Incidently, The Manolo in a post from last Friday, has his own lovely version of tikkun olam :

Make the world more super fantastic.
Be kinder to strangers you meet on the street. Tip waitresses generously. Smile at small children and dogs, even when they are naughty. Have the kind word for shop girls and cab drivers. Engage random strangers in pleasant conversations about growing flowers, and your last trip to the circus. Resist the urge to use your walking stick to pummel rude people who talk loudly on cell phones.

Would that everyone had New Year's resolutions such as these!

But I do have some goals/projects that I'm carrying over from last year, of which de-cluttering my closet predominates. I wrote a few months ago about having too much in the way of "junk food" clothing and accessories, and I've renewed my energies toward culling the herd. I'm also expanding the de-cluttering to other areas, e.g. if I'm going to have chocolat, it's going to be the Good Stuff, I'm not going to feel obligated to finish books that bore me, and I'm going to spend less time shopping and more time in my garden. Oh, and come hell or high water, I'm going back to Paris in the fall.