Looking Ahead – Attitude

Jardin du Luxembourg in autumn.  Not related to this post, but one of my favorite photos.

I don’t discuss politics here on this blog, and rarely touch upon current events.  That doesn’t mean I don’t read about both, and think about them and discuss in other venues, but that isn’t the focus of this blog or what I choose to blog about.  But I just need to get this off my virtual chest.

In the wake of the shootings in Arizona, there’s been much talk of the polarization and inflammatory rhetoric that seems to dominate political discourse these days.  As it appears the gunman was mentally unbalanced and no one’s rhetoric is directly responsible, it also would be hyperbolic to try to tie his actions to any person or group.  Unfortunately, I don’t believe that this incident is going to cause anyone to tone down their rhetoric because these days inflammatory speech and outright distortions of facts ultimately seem to generate ratings and perpetuate media attention. Outrage Sells. We’re immersed in a culture that often uses violent rhetoric and dehumanizing or “Othering” of those with whom one disagrees in an attempt to invalidate and render illegitimate not only their viewpoint but their right to express it.  I’m not going to give examples; we’ve all seen it, and it’s a playground bully tactic.  It feeds on itself.

But we aren’t powerless.  (Here’s where I’m going to get a bit woo woo.)  Our words and our actions create energy that is sent out into the world.  In that small way, we each have the power to change the world for the better.

Gandhi expressed it well and most succinctly: Be the change you want to see in the world.  When we choose to be kind, to be generous, to uplift, to respect, it starts a small movement, and creates a little pocket of positive energy that touches and envelops those around us.  It spreads.  Maybe we can’t stop delusional gunmen or get some people to drop hateful rhetoric or hyperbole, but we can Be The Change.  Think about how you wish things were and Be more of That.  It’s worth a try, n’est-ce pas?
~

All original content property of https://unefemmenet.wpengine.com

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 United States License.

Stay in touch

Sign up to be notified of new posts and updates from une femme d’un certain âge.

Affiliate links in posts may generate commissions for unefemme.net. See my complete disclosure policy here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

31 Comments

  1. I agree with you—totally. I post fairly regularly on a political message board–a board that has gotten quite ugly at times. I always try to be a voice of reason and calmly discuss both sides of an issue. I think this has been one small way that I can help in the quest to civilize political discourse.

    Concerning the shootings in Tucson. It is clear to me that our ability to meet the healthcare needs of the mentally ill is very very broken. It’s way past time for mental illness to be seen as an illness like any other–and treated aggressively by our health care system. Sadly, I don’t hold out hope that this is going to happen.

  2. Just lovely. As the previous comments point out (and as a very good column in the NYT also pointed out), the two things that might have saved some of those people: more help for mentally ill and stricter gun laws (esp pertaining to automatic weapons). With the no tax/no spend/NRA mentality, these changes are unlikely in the near term.

  3. Thank you so much for this post and I couldn’t agree more! I believe that the energy we put out into the world affects all. We do have a choice and in Celebration of Martin Luther King’s Birthday, your words reflect what his life stood for. In kindness and good will to all!

  4. The Ghandi aphorism sprang into my mind before I got to the para where you provide it.

    A change I would like to see, recognize in you and and try to be as best I can: to stand up and say, ” Wait a minute. That’s not OK”, or “That’s not the world I want to live in”.

    Bearing witness and speaking out are different responses than name calling, blaming and projecting.

    That’s what I see you doing, and thank you for it.

  5. Chère Pseu! Il est bien et bon d’avoir le courage de ses convictions et vous l’avez exprimé magnifiquement.
    Bravissimo!

    Orane

  6. I absolutely agree.

    And I’ve seen it in action in my work situation. Someone feels they have a beef with me, if I get all defensive the anger escalates and spreads. If I listen respectfully and keep my cool things get resolved, often amicably, and we can move on with the job. The (spiritual) energy I put out is reflected back.

    The trick is not to get caught up in anger and ego, but I’m getting better at this as I get older.

  7. Susan – yes, that’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. All we can do is lead by example. And I agree that we need to take mental illness more seriously, but it’s a very tough and complicated issue.

    California Girl – actually I’m a Cali Girl too (LA area); but have an eternal crush on Paris. I think the gun laws are an issue, yes, but also our “Wild West” history (and the reverence for that period) when scores were settled with guns.

    oddtrite – thank you, and I’m glad this resonated with you.

    frugalscholar – thanks so much. I think our current political climate means that both of those issues will continue to be an uphill battle.

    The Style Crone – thank you. Martin Luther King’s actions and words uplifted a generation. We honor the memory of people like him when we remember what he stood for and try to inhabit those beliefs.

    Duchesse – yes! Speaking truth to power is how I’ve seen that described, and we all have the power to do it.

    Orane – merci beaucoup. Vous etes trés gentille.

    Northmoon – yes, exactly! I’ve witnessed time and again how just acknowledging another person’s feelings and staying calm has the ability to diffuse the anger and confrontational aspect.

  8. It also comes down to choice – we really do have control over what comes out of our mouths and taking even 10 seconds to stop before opening our mouths (or leaping into an email or an IM) works wonders. On the other hand, for some people out there, who make their livings through what comes out of their mouths in the media or in their books, to make the claim that somehow, what they say has no effect is pure ‘chicken-shittery’. If they did not know that their words have power to move people, they would not be in politics or the media – saying what they say or write and saying it in a specific frame of reference and tone are what makes them the very rich and influential people that they are. People need to suck it up, take responsibility for what they do and say and be adults. To claim that they have no responsibility is garbage.

  9. Yes. In terms of rhetoric, I couldn’t agree more. Almost every point can be made without hatred. Gun control, on the other hand, can’t be done by oneself. Sometimes I feel the Europeans must gape at us, aghast, as yet another killing splashes across our news.

  10. Right in there, woo-wooing along with you.

    It’s not easy to do what Duchesse suggests, taking a stand, because it means taking a risk. But I think that also makes it much more worth the effort.

  11. If anyone is interested in being able to behave as Northmoon describes, I recommend “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg or see the web site, http://www.cnvc.org for a description of nonviolent compassionate communication.

  12. I totally agree with you about the rhetoric – but living in England, I have to say that an amendment to US gun laws would certainly help alleviate this type of shoot out.

    Great Ghandi quote

  13. Be the change you want to see in the world. I couldn’t agree with you more. It is who we are, with our children and partners. It is who we are – perhaps even more so (certainly differently) – with strangers. It is the behavior we bring to every day.

    We all have good days and bad; I’m not a fan of the “positive action culture” and yet, that said, our ability to responsibly act with integrity and affirmation of what we value helps us, and certainly impacts others.

    Thank you for sharing your heartfelt words.

    .

  14. I agree completely about civility and kindness and the energy we put into the world–unfortunately, I am on the verge of giving up that belief. After more than a decade of our elected representatives treating each other without respect–no matter who is elected–and the general rudeness of public behavior I see every day, the lack of generosity and mannners I find in my students, I almost do not believe that anything like simple kindness or good manners exist any more. The facts that both “sides” (we are conditioned to think of them this way, not even as parties or positions!) used the events in Tucson as an immediate rhetoric point to attack the other “side”, was tremedously depressing and terrifying.

  15. Bravo! As a Canadian, I worry at the support our currently right-leaning Conservative government garners for resisting gun-control as we currently know it. The influence of such a powerful neighbour and the paranoid climate of our times require those of us who know better to speak up — and if you can help by showing that the US is hardly single-voiced on this issue, so much the better! I was appalled to find that sales for the Glock model involved in the tragedy have spiked since the event. It’s heartening to hear how many “other” Americans there are who are equally aghast.

  16. Nicely put. I do get political in my blog, http://womenofcertainage.blogspot.com

    Personally, the rhetoric angle is less pertinent to the situation than the gun laws the United States Congress continues to uphold. Countries such as the U.K., Australia, Canada have strict gun control and the murder rates are much lower as are the incidences of violence.

    What type of gun law(s), if any, do you have in France. Is the political rhetoric as annoyingly heated as in the U.S.?

  17. That was beautifully put and you are absolutely right. Change can start with one person and it can start right now.

  18. Pseu there is absolutely nothing woo-woo about anything you said. You speak the absolute truth here. Words do have power. They have the power to inspire the best in us and to bring out that which we would prefer to keep hidden from the world at large. This is why the saying ‘the pen is mightier than the sword” is so very true.

    Since words do have power and spread ripples throughout the universe we must choose our words carefully for the effects last far longer than just the immediate hearing.

    We all should be mindful to speak carefully, kindly, helpfully and truthfully.

  19. Beautifully put. Even our most commonplace interactions, when approached with thoughtful kindness, can start a positive ripple. I vote for civility!

  20. Toby Wollin – I agree! We all have responsibility for what we say, especially people who have a national soapbox!

    LPC – in some ways, I think as a culture we’ve never outgrown the Wild West mentality. Unfortunately, the gun lobby seems to have so much power right now, that gun control advocates seem to have thrown in the towel.

    Rubiatonta – yes, speaking up is sometimes a very big risk. I’m always in awe of people who risk everything, even their lives to speak out against oppressive regimes.

    Duchesse – I’ll check those out, thanks!

    Gretchen and SMR – thank you!

    jlcondradt – thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoy the blog. I’ve had that movie on my “want to see” list for ages, and now must add to my Netflix queue.

    That’s Not My Age – British and European attitudes toward guns seem so much saner to me. I’m not a gun owner (and could never imagine owning one) but I just think that a culture where violence is seen as a legitimate answer to conflict resolution and guns are a deadly mix. Supposedly Canada has more guns per capita than we do, but far less gun violence.

    Veuve – Thanks! I think you’re right that these periods of extreme rhetoric are cyclical. I’m just ready for the pendulum to swing the other way!

    Big Little Wolf – I’ve often been suspicious of “positive action culture” myself, but I do think in small and persistent ways, we can have an impact.

  21. Pearl – it truly is discouraging sometimes. I also think that reality TV has “normalized” some pretty horrible behaviors and attitudes. But I still feel that I must do what I can, if for no other reason than that it improves the quality of my own life.

    materfamilias – unfortunately, I think a certain viewpoint dominates our media right now, and gives the impression that a majority of citizens endorse that viewpoint. That isn’t the case, but it’s hard for people with differing viewpoints to get a venue. That really was horrible to hear about the surge in Glock sales after the shooting. Sometimes I just don’t understand what motivates some people.

    laurieann – I think as a culture we’ve become very indulgent. That doesn’t mean that we all don’t have impulses that are less than noble, but sometimes it seems that those who pander to everything small and mean in the human spirit hold sway. We’re better than that, and sometimes all it takes is a moment to reflect and do or say the better thing.

    Tiffany – thanks. I think the current climate of polarization here has made it almost impossible to debate these issues with any degree of moderation. I’m glad that people in your country recognized the need to impose some limits, and were able to do so.

    Leslie – thank you! I vote for civility too!

  22. First, a thank you for your delightful blog. I read it daily, and it always provides me some eye candy, valued lessons on scarf-tying, or salient points about fashion and culture.

    I completely agree with your comments about the power of our words and actions. I wonder if you’ve ever seen the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know”? In one amazing experiment, phrases, positive or negative, were taped to glasses of water for a few days. When the contents of the various glasses were viewed microscopically, the molecular structure of the glasses with the phrase “You are wonderful,” or “I love you” was a beautiful, orderly pattern. The water in the glass with the phrase “I hate you” showed an ugly, chaotic pattern. How true this is of individuals and societies!

    Keep up the great work.

  23. Beautifully put, Pseu. I second Duchesse’s recommendation of Rosenberg’s work. And, as an Australian, I am also very much in favour of gun laws. Our last conservative prime minister did one thing only that I supported, and that was to impose much stricter gun laws in the wake of the horrific Port Arthur massacre. I realise such a move would probably never succeed in the US, but the stats speak for themselves.

  24. Beth In My World and Laurie – thank you both.

    Semi-Expat – thanks. I think it was Anita Roddick who said something like “if you think you’re too small to make a difference, just try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.”

  25. Pseu, I agree with and appreciate your post. I try to think about this when I blog. It can be difficult, especially if you take on controversial topics.