Out Of Hiding
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| Out standing in my field |
A few weeks ago, I posted about my tendency to hide in clothing that’s loose or voluminous or just too darn big. It’s a trap that I fell into early in life, and it’s been a tough one to dig myself out of. Inspired by Duchesse’s post about her French friend Laurence, I acknowledged that some of my clothes not only weren’t fooling anyone but also weren’t even remotely flattering and actually made me look bigger than I am. I’ve culled the most egregious members of the Drab-And-Shapeless Gang, and am now trying to work without my camouflage safety net.
Granted, I’ll probably never be comfortable with anything skin-tight or that exposes a lot of flesh. I think a bit of mystery is ultimately more alluring anyhow. 😉
The Karina Dresses “Megan” style (above) works well with my shape. The modified empire cut of the dress creates a bit of a waistline, the 3/4 sleeves are my favorite length, and the fabric stretches and moves with me and is so comfortable that I’ll keep it on even after I get home from work. The Arche “swashbuckler” boots were purchased in Paris in 2009, and I love the panache they add. (And they are walk-all-day comfortable!) I feel like I can really move in this outfit, which I love.
This is last year’s J.Crew “Tippi” leopard sweater. I like how the higher neckline and 3/4 sleeves temper the Vavoom Factor of the leopard print, and I often wear this to the office underneath a jacket. But I thought I’d try on its own here, and added some red patent Cole Haan pumps, going for more of a “date night” look. It’s definitely a much more visible look for me, and I’m still not sure about it.
My shape still isn’t where I’d like it to be, but I’m embracing the idea of dressing the body I have today rather than burying it beneath a tent of fabric. I’m working to treat my body well, not only from the inside but from the outside, and sending a message that it’s worthy of respect and being seen is one way to do that. I can’t pretend this is entirely comfortable yet, but I’m making progress.
Wearing:
Karina Dresses “Megan” 3/4 Sleeve. More Karina Dresses here. (Remember to use code FEMM30 for $30 off any full-priced dress.)
Arche boots. Similar. And these.
J.Crew necklace. Similar.
J.Crew Tippi Sweater. More selections here. In snakeprint and cashmere.
NYDJ Sherri Skinny jeans, here.
Cole Haan Chelsea low-heel pumps, here.
How do you feel about wearing clothing that shows off your shape?
Disclosure: actions taken from some links in this post may result in commissions for www.unefemme.net
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I think you look fantastic in picture number tow, you have nothing to hide.
I work really hard at my figure in order to be happy in form hugging clothes, I won’t keep it up forever but at the moment it is still worth the battle.
As a 55er, I don’t feel very comfortable wearing clothes that show cleavage, flesh and such. But I’m wearing some Polo T-Shirts and some shirts that are a bit closer to de bones, and it surely makes me fell a bit skinnier.
I would like to comment that i haven’t noticed you hiding yourself in voluminous clothing. While you have gone from structured jackets to softer styles, I just don’t see a problem with that. There is room in your wardrobe for several kinds of looks.
Hi Susan, I really haven’t posted any of the “camouflage” clothes. I’m still liking softer, drapey tops but now am conscious to pair them with more fitted pieces for balance.
Ok. I have your figure but taller, so I follow what works for those of us with the hourglass figures. I DO agree that we need to embrace it. Of course that doesn’t mean wearing only fitted or skimming clothing. I LOVE my EF dresses that show my curves. The vicose jersey is good at that. And, no, I don’t buy the flowing things, but sometimes like unstructured sweaters—each one evaluated on its own. I DO like clothing I can be comfortable wearing all day. I read somewhere that if you change clothes when you get home, you are wearing costumes, not clothes that fit you individually. I do change if I am wearing something “fine” that I don’t want to ruin (even with an apron) while cooking.
And I agree with the poster who tells you that you are not overweight. Like you, I am pleased with how I look, recognizing that I COULD look more svelte if I make that a priority. Instead, I try to be mindful of my dietary choices, but not obsessed at 60.
You have thin legs (whereas I’m “cushioned” everywhere). If I had yours I would be wearing skirts everyday. Which I actually do, knee-length (for the “young but not overly sexy touch”), quite often anyway… 🙂
I’m with Tabitha, you look positively sleek. Recall you once described your body type as “H”. Must be for Hotcha!
I recall you in some much looser clothes and though they were appealing in the Eileen Fisher way, these are sassier. It’s not an either/or, is it? I might pair a close-fitting top like yours with flowy palazzo pants, for example, and not feel I’m tenting. It’s when two pieces are loose that we look sacky, or in one of those shapeless dressed like I used to buy from Flax.
Brava for this journey, Une Femme! You look sleek and gorgeous in both outfits. I have a Megan dress too and agree it’s got every figure-flattering feature one could ask for. I love the bright red heels too, it’s inspiring me to copy that very look for a date night.
You look wonderful in both photos. Nothing to hide there!
I definitely wear clothes closer to the body than I used to — though I’ll admit it takes a while to get used to seeing oneself that way. I just got a new dress in the mail that I love, but I’m probably going to have the skirt taken in to a pencil shape rather than its current a-line. And then it’ll be dress-and-boots time for me, too!
You look fabulous, Sue! No need to hide at all.
I couldn’t answer your question without taking up far too much comment room, but the short answer is that while I’m more cautious than I used to be about body-hugging clothes, particularly around my middle, I know I look better with a trimmer sartorial silhouette.
You look great in that leopard top. You have a great bosom and should definitely wear that tighter look to show off your shape. I have to say you look very Italian or French in that photo, as women from those cultures would never dream of hiding a shapely bosom, but instead show off the shape without revealing the cleavage. The dress is nice too….. I think your decision to throw out loose stuff is the right decision. You’ve definitely got it, so flaunt it!
I know I look better with a trimmer silhouette, and I wear far more fitted clothes than I used to (and more pencil skirts too), I haven’t quite gotten away from my love affair with the boxy sweater and slim jeans look, which probably feels better to my psyche than it actually looks. Perhaps the secret lies in balance, tending toward more fitted shapes, but occasionally acknowledging that there are days you just want the comfort of volume. I’m working on that one.
You look fabulous ! I love how you’ve worn those red shoes for a splash of fun and a shot of vah vah voom!
I have a tendency to wear the larger top over leggings and boots a look that I feel slims me…
I might be fooling myself though.
Recently I bought a ponte knit dress which is slimmer through the body and it skims all my curves, I might try those Karina Meagan dresses as I think you and I are very similar body types and both of us are short.
Do you need to hem yours?
hostess, this dress wasn’t hemmed; it’s the original length.
Great picks! Those pumps are just perfect. So many women decide they can’t wear heals after a certain age.. I still wear them to the office! I do spend a little more on shoes than I did in my younger years – but it’s worth it for me to have fewer options/better quality. The dress looks so comfy and I like the fit of the pant.
Very nice!
leslie
Leslie, the reason some women (of any age, not just “a certain age”) don’t wear heels is not that think it’s not appropriate at some age. It’s because they may find heels tortuous. Those of you who can comfortably wear heels will never understand how it feels to those of use who don’t have the foot structure. For one thing, you need arches.
I love your the way you look in both photos. You have great legs! I love the pop of the red heels with the black pants.
Marilyn
I really like this look on you. I think clothes that skim the figure look best on everyone. The only people who truly look great in hugely oversized clothes are people who are rail thin, and then the clothes drape beautifully on them. Essentially they act like a coat hanger. But those people are rare. That look certainly doesn’t work for me!
I am a hider and always have been even when I had a drop dead gorgeous body. I am in my mid fifties now and with it has come the added on menopounds. I just don’t know how to dress anymore without the frump factor. Your blog has been an eyeopener for me and I am trying to get it together. Keep the pics coming I think you look gorgeous.
you have a fantastic shape. I am shocked that you think you are overweight – you look great in those outfits enjoy who you are!
If I had a figure like yours I’d jump for joy. The blog you cited was an eye opener for me. And your blog is too. I’ve tried to hide all my life. I think I need to work on changing my ways.
You look fabulous!! I love the dress and those red heels…Wow! I agree with Judy…you have a great figure and should be showing it off!! My journey in my 50s has been one of trying daily to leave oversized items behind me and own my curves…you really do look great!
Oui, oui! “Fits well” does not necessarily mean “tight.” Skimming is such a good word for it. Plus I always figure my body isn’t going to be any younger than it is today so I might as well enjoy dressing it!
I think you look wonderful. I love the dress and necklace and you look really good in the red heels outfit. I don’t mind showing some flesh for evening wear but I’m really a jeans and boots girl the rest of the time. You should feel confident, because you look great.
You look lovely & the tent option is never a good idea.
I think you look great in that dress. I’ve heard many good things about Karina dresses. The second outfit really caught my eye. It is perfect on you and really makes you pop!
You look fantastic, I especially love look #2, I think it’s younger and hipper. I wear jeans and boots ALL THE TIME. Just variations on the same theme. I have started wearing a one piece body suit, under my clothes, rather than underpants and a bra – I feel (and look) sleeker through the middle.
I really love the pants look, but both are very flattering on you.
When I was in college, my best friend used to wear these long and voluminous sweaters over her leggings or jeans to hide her rear end. My college boyfriend said that it only made her butt look bigger because everyone was assuming there was something gigantic under that sweater. Ever since he said that some 25+ years ago, I have been careful about “hiding” parts of my body.
You look absolutely smashing in both of these outfits! A classic hourglass. I’m glad to hear you’re coming out of hiding with baggy clothes – that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where they end up fitting, and can really make one end up feeling shapeless and drab.
I love showing off my shape! I work very hard to maintain my 50 lb weight loss from 5+ years ago, and darn it, I’m going to show it!
Duchesse is so right about balance: one fitted piece can make another more flowing garment be fine, but two big pieces together don’t work. (Perhaps we need a former Flax wearers support group). I wish I could rock my Karina dress the way you do . . .
I feel that “skimming” the body is the best look for most people, especially if you keep in mind the silhouette that follows the female shape. The most important thing, however, is wearing your clothing and projecting the confident attitude that all women should have. We’re wonderful, ladies, and we should show ’em all why.
Love that leopard sweater. You look so nice.
You look amazing. Both looks suit you very well. I believe a woman can be alluring and stylish; without showing it all. You go girl!
xoxo
Karena
A Special Scalamandre Giveaway
Thank you everyone! I’m really overwhelmed by the kind and supportive comments.
Bravo! Love your new attitude!
Dont doubt your decision b/c you look FABULOUS! Seriously, both looks are very flattering and I really LOVE the peep of red in the second outfit!
You look fantastic in both photos!
The red shoes look great. I love the idea of them, but I will have to try it in flats or kitten heels. I can’t wear heels at 58 not because I think they’re unseemly for my age, but because my feet simply can’t take it! I can tolerate maybe a 2″ heel.
You look fantastic in the dress! I have been visiting Karina’s site, and will probably buy one soon.
You Look Fab had a link in her link-love recently where someone pointed out that tall/thin gals looked good in floppy unstructured things and everybody else, presumably the not tall/thin types, looked better in fitted clothing. I thought that was an apt generalization.
I think the Tippi sweater with the pants/heels is attractive on you. For work, not date night, I’d like it with a slim skirt and the same heels.
Wonderful post, Susan! You look fantastic in both photos, but your wonderfully centred stance up top is fierce! I love your necklace, Arche boots, and red pumps, all exceptionally fine accessories.
I’d guess I’ve spent most of my life in hiding as well, and am just now learning to dress myself properly. I so appreciate your articulation of your journey – thank you!
You look terrific. I absolutely agree about slim fitting clothes being more flattering. I haven’t commented before but you need to know you look great!
I struggle with wanting to hide since gaining a lot of weigh after menopause. I don’t enjoy exercise as much as I did before and I’ve yet to find a solution for that. I love the dress and boots, being ‘cushioned all over’ as someone already said. I wear full skirts and boots, but also cardis, which constitutes ‘hiding’ I think. Whenever possible, I push up sleeves, appreciating the 3/4 length advantage, but it is genuinely cold here in the North of England, so opportunities are sometimes limited. I think the second outfit works really well, but I’m not sure about the proportions. With the dress, I can put my fingers on the photo and see how the dress is 2/3 and the boots 1/3, which is a good ratio. I find getting that with the short bit on top quite hard, as it means stopping at the waist, which is really scary for me! Proportions aside, you look very snappy and the red shoes are audacious.
You look lovely and in my opinion you have nothing you need to “hide.” Express yourself! (as some say)
I haven’t read all the comments because I just wanted to add, emphatically, that you look great!
You look foxy, I wish I had your legs, and I am digging the red shoes. I’ve been thinking i need some of those for a while now.
You are gorgeous in both photos. Confident and full of life, and what could be better than that. I love how you share your process in all areas.
I still love that leopard top and pants (with red shoes) on you… In fact all these shoes are lovely!
Like so many women, I hid in layers and draping styles for years. I got more comfortable with fitted when I lived in France (and always slimmed down), then after children that went by the wayside until my 40s when I went back to showing off a womanly body… more comfortable with my own curves. Over 50? I’m still a believer in showing yourself to your best advantage, and I think form fitting (not skin tight) is often exactly that – not to mention – confident!
You look terrific. Give yourself permission to enjoy your gifts.
You look very confident in your clothing, which is great. As you feel comfortable in them, even better.
#2.
Looks great. Might want to think about the leopard print, as it creates some odd vertical striping. But the silhouette? Wonderful.
There is nothing to hide. Enjoy.
Susan, you look absolutely smashing. I was so excited when the post appeared, and I saw you wearing that very figure-flattering dress. You should love your body, because it’s really beautiful. I’d kill to have some curves.
I think both looks are beautiful (like most of the outfits you’ve posted,) and the subtle vertical shading of the leopard print works to your advantage, really. I suspect that if you lived anywhere else you’d feel less self-conscious about showing your very nice figure. L.A. can be a tough town for women over 35!
Maybe that’s why I would not advise you to get rid of every single piece of “camouflage” clothing. All of us have days when we feel too tired or tender to brave the world with attitude. Why not give yourself permission to retreat occasionally? Then, when you are feeling strong and sassy, you can flaunt what you’ve got in these great clothes.
C.
Wonderful choice to stop hiding!
I agree the fitted look of #2 is great on you (and of course the confidence in both is wonderful).
Whoa, I love the red pumps with the pants and leopard top! You need to wear items like this way more often.
Chiming in late to say, fantastic and you’re quite slim!
Those of us with a bust musn’t wear things that hang off them and keep going. As form fitting as we don’t want to be, we still need to appear to have a waist. (note to self)
You look fantastic and I’m sooo glad you have decided to embrace and flaunt your marvellous self. Your light is definitely on high beams here. I have a feeling there are more exciting times to come…
Looking fantastic here.
Print top really suits you, as do the chic red pumps! (I’m almost regretting selling mine…)
I don’t like tight clothing either. Never have. I prefer fitting (or loose) knits.
*fitted knits, I meant. 🙂
I love you in that dress, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. How fantastic!!!
Loving your red shoes to bits.
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I love how you’re looking here, in both outfits. They say more contemporary things about your persona than looser garments might. I have to wonder what you think you need to conceal? So jaunty, the little red heels under the cigarette pants and leopard top. And tall enough to look modern without looking teetery. Undeniably visible, but not loud at all.
Your boots and dress … well, they just rock!
you look beautiful and feminin in this dress, there is no reason to hide. also your second outfit is fantastic, especially the red shoes of course, but also the flattering top.
I think you look fabulous in every thing you wear. In fact, I am quite envious of your most excellent figure!
The NYDJ Sherri is my favorite of all of their jeans. I just got a pair on sale at Zappos that are in the Venetian Rose color and it is beautiful.
Celebrate yourself. You are beautiful!
I just saw Silver linings. A beautiful film about so called imperfect people. Inspiring and fun. Your posts are so human and real life they are a bowl pure air.