Encore: If I Can’t Dance…
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| Pic borrowed from Penny Dreadful Vintage here. |
Repost from April, 2011.
If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution. —Emma Goldman
Though according to scholars, this is a paraphrase of a part of one of her speeches rather than a direct quote, I’ve always adored the sentiment. What good is any endeavor if there is no fun, no joy in the outcome?
I approach style the same way. Expression of one’s own style should be enjoyable. It’s taken many of us years or even decades to break away from the rules we were handed by our parents (never mix patterns, patent leather is for dressy occasions only) only to find them replaced by a different set of rules set by our contemporaries. We can be dressed “right” per current fashion dictates, a friend whose style we admire, a celebrity stylist or the latest greatest style book, and yet feel as though we’re wearing someone else’s clothing. No joy in that.
When we dress joyfully, from the inside out, we’re anything but invisible. We carry ourselves differently, project confidence and presence.
Do the words “joyful dressing” bring to mind an image of sartorial exuberance, or even eccentricity? Duchesse posted last week about the NOWNESS: Advanced Style video, and many in comments agreed with her that the eccentric style of the women featured felt over-the-top, and less joyful than strained. Some disagreed, and applauded these women for their uniquely expressive styles and for refusing to recede into the background or accept invisibility. I find myself in the middle. These women seem themselves to be vibrant and edgy and artistic, and how they put themselves together reflects that, and yes, shouts it out to the world. While I may have been comfortable embracing that kind of in-your-face-ness in my twenties, to dress that way today would feel forced and uncomfortable. Vividly colored clothing, splashy high-contrast prints, or designs/combinations that border on (or cross over into) the theatrical, though I may love them on others, leave me feeling like a blinking neon sign.
Joyful dressing doesn’t necessarily mean vibrant dressing. Simplicity and restraint can be joyful expressions too. One woman’s “drab” is another’s “serene.” Think of a simple Japanese brush painting, or an evocative black-and-white photograph. The kinds of images we’re drawn to might often give clues as to what visual stylistic expressions might feel most organic to us. I’ve always been drawn to simple, clean designs, visual equivalents of a cleansing breath. My admiration of French women’s style probably comes from the same place. Clean and uncluttered styles in neutral colors also provide a great canvas to add a bit of fun, edginess and wit with accessories as the mood strikes. But just a touch, un petit peu, oui?
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| Photo of les Parisiennes by Tish at A Femme d’un Certain Age |
I also believe that joyful style must be comfortable. Who wants to dance (even metaphorically) in a waistband that’s too tight, or shoes that hurt? And unselfconscious. If one is always checking to see whether the shirt is staying tucked or whether the bag clashes with the sweater, it’s lost. You must be able to put it on and then forget about it!
What elements of style are joyful for you? Do you find that your taste in art and visual design mirrors your sartorial style?
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Flamboyant, “loud” clothing used to appeal to me when I was in the fashion industry. Now it just makes me feel conspicuous. Like I’m trying too hard. Quality, appropriateness and a feeling of ease in my clothing speaks much louder to me now. Subdued colours are more flattering on my complexion and so much easier to wear and mix together.
Wonderful post. I missed it the first time, so glad you shared it again.
Hope you’re having a wonderful holiday!
Cheers
Jennifer
I had to view what I wrote earlier before replying, and noticed that today I buy/ return far less than ever before.
These days I prefer clothes which feel comfortable on. Comfortable clothes look good.
I´m willing to pay for quality too.
I have several friends who dress with flamboyance and I always enjoy seeing what they are wearing. It’s not my style, but I am glad to have friends who like to be cutting edge and conspicuous (in a good way).
Though my post today is about being vibrant, I really agree with your sentiments here and am so glad you re-posted!! Have a wonderful day!!
My home and my taste in visual arts runs way more towards color, pattern mixing etc. than does my taste in clothing, which is way more neutral, and minimal. I feel most comfortable that way. But I like my home very warm and cozy. Never saw this post, and glad to read it.
I guess I’m kind of a middle-of-the-roader. Many of the ladies on Advanced Style just look, quite honestly, ridiculous to me. Some look great, but the really out-there ones, well, if it makes them happy then that’s fine, but it’s so not for me. On the other hand, many of the “blog ladies” I read here and on other blogs talk about wearing minimalist clothing in only neutrals. This to me seems unutterably boring. So I guess I would say I love color, but in subtle ways; bright and cheerful, but not loud and garish; I don’t necessarily want to blend into the crowd, and I don’t mind standing out, but not TOO far out.
—Jill Ann
If being like the herd makes one happy, then fine. If you want to be flamboyant and eccentric then that is fine too. Hooray for diversity.
A thoughtful and thought-provoking post. And very timely for me. Thank you.
There were two good lines in the film that summed it up for me. One was that dressing is a chance to be creative. I’m finding that aspect to be so enjoyable, both in my own style and in following several bloggers. It’s fun to create a composition with clothes and accessories (and I don’t have to negotiate with my husband as I do over decorating the house!). The second line from the film was that you don’t want to look crazy. For me, no, I don’t want to look crazy, but I’m also learning to appreciate other people’s tastes. If I don’t want to dress very wild, I appreciate that other people do – it’s entertaining!
Joy is where you find it. I dress for modern life, leaving overt expression to other areas. There is enough kitsch and visual chaos out there; no need to add to that. Dressing simply – not to be confused with plainly – is liberating and, yes, joyful.
I’d missed this post on its first go-around, so I, too, appreciate the encore. When I see older women, or teens, dressed like cartoon characters or in overly contrived outfits (and hair) of any sort, I don’t think “joy” or “exuberance” or even “artistic.” What I see is someone crying out, “SEE me! You can’t ignore me now!” and I hope, for their sake, they’re doing this act-out in their dress because they have a hearty sense of self-worth. However, I suspect with most of them, it’s a sense of insecurity and desire for attention of any sort, even if it’s negative. In a toddler, that’s one thing. In any one who should know better, I feel sorry for them.
Enjoyment is where it’s at for sure! Well-put. I really, really appreciate how you articulate what fits for you and what doesn’t (or no longer does) without putting anyone else down – the thing I find to be in poor taste is judgement.
I am afraid that this may be a little controversial, but I find the whole Advanced Style website and mentality a little offensive. If it makes these ladies happy, fine. But I do find the implication to be that when you get older it is too late for elegance and beauty, and any older woman who dresses more conventionally is somehow not joyful or creative.
I tend to reserve judgement about the Advanced Style ladies, having never lived in NYC nor yet to their age. I doubt I’d ever go towards that extreme in my usual suburban habitat. Being petite and in my late 50s causes me to turn away from a lot of flamboyance. For example, I can’t cope with ruffles. My ‘dance’ seems to be with velvet or suede, with mid-length fuller skirts and flat boots and, when I can find them, jackets that fit well on my narrow shoulders but give room for the (ahem) front of me. I agree, comfort is important if I’m going to keep a pleasant expression on my face!