Weekend WIWarrior

As much as I complain about the lack of seasons in Southern California, I do appreciate not having to bundle up any more than this for some pre-holiday errand running in late December, including my favorite marinière as a middle layer. 

I'm wearing two of my favorite Wendy Brandes pieces here: my engraved Diana necklace...

and my engagement ring, re-designed by Wendy a couple of years ago. 

Please do not look closely at my ragged cuticles, am in dire need of a manicure!

Actually, I'm wearing this ring in every outfit post, and keep neglecting to mention it. (Sorry, Wendy!!)  It's become like a part of my hand. I'm so thrilled with how the ring turned out. You can read the story and process behind the design here. Sometimes I just sit and stare at it, like a little bird hypnotized by the sparkle!

The Glamour Shot

The small bag is a Chanel Wallet on a Chain. 

I bought this one last year, and love how versatile it is. During the week, I tuck the chain inside and toss into my workday tote as a wallet. On the weekends, I wear as a crossbody bag while out and about. It's big enough for my cards and cash, a cell phone, a lipstick, keys and small tube of hand lotion. I swore off heavy shoulder bags a few years ago, and my neck and shoulders regularly thank me for it (or at least they should, the ungrateful wenches!). 

Also wearing:

Tops - Saint James Galathée tee, here.  Tank underneath for warmth (not visible) is Eileen Fisher, here.

Sweater - Eileen Fisher, similar here.

Jeans - NYDJ Sheri Skinny. Similar here.

Boots - mine are ancient Etienne Aigner, similar here. For relatively inexpensive boots, these have held up quite well over the years, and are very comfortable, even for all-day-on-my-feet wear.

Scarf - J.Crew from either a year or two ago. I haven't been able to find this exact fabric blend again, but would recommend one of these lightweight cashmere scarves from L'Affaire Cashmere. (You'll be seeing one soon in an upcoming outfit post!)

Linking up with Patti's Visible Monday.  Go see how these gorgeous bloggers are ringing in the New Year.

Wishing the Happiest of New Years to all of my friends in the blogging community, and to those who read and take the time to comment! It means more than I can ever say to have made these connections. May 2013 be a year of good health, prosperity, and peace for you.

Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve?  We're probably staying in with a bottle of champagne and some hors d'oeuvres. Tomorrow a few friends and family may drop by in the afternoon, which is just the excuse I've been looking for to fire up the Raclette maker.

Disclosure: some links in this post may generate commissions for www.unefemme.net.

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Encore: Near Misses

UN-Reality TV!

Encore post from June, 2011.


We found out while on our way home that we'd dodged a bullet in Florence: just a few days after we left, the cast and crew of the reality show "Jersey Shore" had shown up (in a big way) for a few weeks of shooting for the next season.  Pre-scripted drinking, brawling and scrapes with the police were the order of the day.

I know for some it's a guilty (or not) pleasure, but I've never been able to watch most reality TV shows, other than the HGTV yard makeover type, for more than a few minutes before I start to squirm with discomfort and empathetic embarrassment and have to change the channel. I seem to be in the minority; there's a substantial audience out there who just can't get enough of flamboyant people behaving badly (or at least with a level of drama out of all proportion to the situation). I have to wonder about young women today who have grown up consuming this kind of programming which may have the effect of normalizing what once was considered outrageous behavior (and not just on the part of women, men too). Andy Warhol, it seems, was right, and I wonder about these shifting norms as people continue to up the ante just to be noticed. Sometimes it seems that a toddler-like mindset of saying, grabbing or doing whatever we want in the moment is not only exhibited, but endorsed in entertainment media and spills over into our culture in general.

But, without alleging any sort of carefully crafted conspiracy between media and advertisers, I think one effect of the conditioning on our brains to escalating stimuli is that we begin to crave more new and shiny things, more excitement, and this dovetails with an increasingly materialistic yet throw-away consumer culture. We want more, brighter, bigger, the next new thing, and we want it NOW. We're a population of instant gratification junkies. And a plethora of options for cheap, trendy, disposable clothing have sprung up to cater to this mentality.

I'm not immune to this pull either. Long time readers of this blog may recall that I've declared my intention many times to quit buying "junk food clothing" and upgrade my wardrobe with fewer, but better quality pieces. This hasn't been easy. I've realized to what extent my buying habits are fueled not only by the high of something new and shiny, but also by fear of deprivation. "I'll never find another pair of jeans that fit." "I'd better buy a backup in case this one wears out and I can't find another like it." It's fun, but it's also reassuring to buy the same cardigan in three different colors. (OK, so maybe it's just a question of degree between me and the folks on "Hoarders"...)

Training myself out of the habit of over-consumption and overriding the magpie part of my brain has required constant vigilance, and application of the "do I love it?" and "does it add the the quality of my life?" criteria to any potential wardrobe purchase. It's harder to hold out for those few things that meet the higher standards, but slowly, the mindset does seem to be taking hold. Lately I've found myself walking away from Near Misses far more often than making regretted purchases. (You wondered where I was going with this, didn't you?)  And while there's some disappointment each time I don't skip out of the store with buyer's high, the feeling of satisfaction of sticking to my guns outweighs the gratification of something new.

Intentions are good, but changing beliefs and behaviors takes practice, and yes, discipline, a word that sometimes seems old-fashioned in our world of instant fame and instant gratification. Discipline isn't flashy and sometimes isn't fun. But while intentions may be the fuel, discipline is the engine that takes us where we want to go.

Have you made a decision to change your consumption habits? How is it going? What strategies are working for you?
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Encore: If I Can't Dance...

Pic borrowed from Penny Dreadful Vintage here.

Repost from April, 2011. 

If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution. --Emma Goldman


Though according to scholars, this is a paraphrase of a part of one of her speeches rather than a direct quote, I've always adored the sentiment. What good is any endeavor if there is no fun, no joy in the outcome?

I approach style the same way. Expression of one's own style should be enjoyable. It's taken many of us years or even decades to break away from the rules we were handed by our parents (never mix patterns, patent leather is for dressy occasions only) only to find them replaced by a different set of rules set by our contemporaries. We can be dressed "right" per current fashion dictates, a friend whose style we admire, a celebrity stylist or the latest greatest style book, and yet feel as though we're wearing someone else's clothing. No joy in that.

When we dress joyfully, from the inside out, we're anything but invisible. We carry ourselves differently, project confidence and presence.

Do the words "joyful dressing" bring to mind an image of sartorial exuberance, or even eccentricity?  Duchesse posted last week about the NOWNESS: Advanced Style video, and many in comments agreed with her that the eccentric style of the women featured felt over-the-top, and less joyful than strained. Some disagreed, and applauded these women for their uniquely expressive styles and for refusing to recede into the background or accept invisibility. I find myself in the middle. These women seem themselves to be vibrant and edgy and artistic, and how they put themselves together reflects that, and yes, shouts it out to the world. While I may have been comfortable embracing that kind of in-your-face-ness in my twenties, to dress that way today would feel forced and uncomfortable. Vividly colored clothing, splashy high-contrast prints, or designs/combinations that border on (or cross over into) the theatrical, though I may love them on others, leave me feeling like a blinking neon sign.

Joyful dressing doesn't necessarily mean vibrant dressing.  Simplicity and restraint can be joyful expressions too. One woman's "drab" is another's "serene." Think of a simple Japanese brush painting, or an evocative black-and-white photograph. The kinds of images we're drawn to might often give clues as to what visual stylistic expressions might feel most organic to us. I've always been drawn to simple, clean designs, visual equivalents of a cleansing breath. My admiration of French women's style probably comes from the same place. Clean and uncluttered styles in neutral colors also provide a great canvas to add a bit of fun, edginess and wit with accessories as the mood strikes. But just a touch, un petit peu, oui?

Photo of les Parisiennes by Tish at A Femme d'un Certain Age

I also believe that joyful style must be comfortable. Who wants to dance (even metaphorically) in a waistband that's too tight, or shoes that hurt?  And unselfconscious. If one is always checking to see whether the shirt is staying tucked or whether the bag clashes with the sweater, it's lost.  You must be able to put it on and then forget about it!

What elements of style are joyful for you?  Do you find that your taste in art and visual design mirrors your sartorial style?
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Merry, Merry!

Crank it up and dance...doing Christmas right this time!

I'll be taking a short blogging break for the next week, but will be reposting some favorites from the archives. And because the comment spammers have been harshing my mellow, I'm turning on comment moderation for the next week. My apologies for any inconvenience.

May your holidays be Joyful, Merry and Bright, and I'll be back on the 31st, just in time for some New Year's Eve celebrations!
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Test - And A Little Holiday Cheer

Pictures taken and posted with iPad. This is as decorated as it gets chez femme.

Posted with Blogsy

Meditations On A Velvet Jacket

Versatile Velvet Jacket by unefemme featuring mid heels

Yes, things have been a bit crazy this week. Happy Holidays everyone!!
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Les cadeaux: Brushes With Destiny

Bobbi Brown "Caviar & Oyster" Brush Set

For those who use makeup brushes and either a) travel or b) just prefer shorter-handled brushes, this is a fabulous time to pick up travel brush sets, often at reduced prices. You know what I'm thinking, don't you? One a friend, one for yourself....

Nordstrom Travel Brush Set

MAC "Making Pretty" Brush Set

Lola Cosmetics Travel Mini Brush Set

Chantecaille Limited Edition Travel Brush Set

MAC "Perfectly Plush" Brush Kit

Disclosure: some links may generate commissions for www.unefemme.net.

Les cadeaux: books for Paris Lovers

Stuff Parisians Like: Discovering the Quoi in the Je Ne Sais Quoi

If you have any Paris lovers on your gift list, these are some of my favorite books either about or featuring Paris.

The Judgment of Paris: The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism

Paris Out of Hand: A Wayward Guide

Hidden in Paris

Barefoot in Paris: Easy French Food You Can Make at Home

Do you have any Paris-themed books to recommend?

Disclosure: actions taken from some links in this post may result in commissions for www.unefemme.net.
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Dressed To Chill

Apologies for the indoor/flash shots, but my hours at home with daylight have been limited. Here's what I ended up wearing to our department holiday party, held at the aforementioned sports bar. The jacket is a new one, a silk velvet number from Toast. I've been on the hunt for a velvet blazer for a few years now, but the ones I've tried up to this point were either too stiff or boxy (often both) or just boring. This one is beautifully soft and fluid, and features an asymmetrical closure in front.

This style seems to work very well with a curvy shape, the armholes are cut nice and high, and the peplum in back adds a sassy touch. The color is a dark pewter (listed on website as "khaki grey") just this side of black, so it's a bit softer than black and plays well with other colors, and the fabric has a beautiful sheen. Looks good worn open or closed.

Jeans are NYDJ "Twiggy" style (I think) from last year. No longer available but Sheri style is similar.

 

Bracelets: Stella and Dot here and here.

Earrings: kate spade.  I've been wearing these almost daily, as they provide a high sparkle to weight ratio.

Shoes: "Poco" from Stuart Weitzman. (I love this style, and have collected in 4 different colors/finishes in the last couple of years. For those who love the look of a classic pump but can no longer tolerate a towering heel, you must try these! Many colors are also available in Wide widths.)

I love the feel of this silk velvet! And the soft fluidity of the jacket made it comfortable enough to wear while shooting some pool...(I'm terrible at it, just for the record).

Linking up with Patti's Visible Monday at Not Dead Yet Style.

Is your holiday party season in full swing? Do you have any favorite pieces or outfits that you'll probably wear multiple times?

Disclosure: actions taken from some links in this post may result in commissions for www.unefemme.net.
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Newtown

Source

In the wake of this inexplicable and overwhelming tragedy, the only comfort I'm finding is in the stories of the teachers whose courage and quick thinking kept their kids safe. Thank you to those brave teachers, and to all teachers out there. May you never be called upon to act with such swift courage.

My heart goes out to the families of both the victims and survivors, who will all have a hard road ahead.
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A Bridge Too Far...

Scanned from Lucky Magazine

Every now and then I enjoy flipping through a copy of Lucky Magazine. I appreciate that it doesn't pretend to be anything other than a print version of an infomercial featuring multiple advertisers. The editorial philosophy seems to be nothing more than, "hey, here's some stuff you can buy." So just for grins, yesterday I grabbed an issue to peruse while I ate lunch.

I've warmed up to the concept of pattern mixing (in small doses), but the wackadoodle ensemble above featured in the January issue absolutely jumps the shark. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was a parody.

In fact the entire issue really brings the crazy...neon colors, layered looks reminiscent of some homeless people I've seen recently. You should see the getups they're promoting as office wear....

SRSLY??
(Also scanned from Lucky Magazine January issue.)

I don't care how young or thin you are, this is not how to dress if you want to be taken seriously at work. Unless you work at Lucky, maybe?

Do any of the fashion glossies still speak to you?  Or have they all bungee jumped off the cliff into the chasm of irrelevance?
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And The Winner Is...

Drawn at random...from 34 comments...

Leslie!!!

Leslie, please email me with your address, and I'll get this sent out to you pronto!

For those of you who entered but did not win, thank you!  This charming little book is still available for purchase, here:

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