tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post8466711780757598023..comments2008-04-03T10:32:10.580-07:00Deja Pseuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16005855250089328310pseub@sbcglobal.netBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-35356319447077654992008-04-03T10:32:00.000-07:002008-04-03T10:32:00.000-07:00Fabulous post.WendyBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00985099019783464580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-73729915029461951982008-04-03T09:21:00.000-07:002008-04-03T09:21:00.000-07:00Vanity and narcism are siblings. And, narcissists don't focus on themselves endlessly out of self love but, as you say, out of a deep insecurity. <BR/><BR/>However, there are those who are so afraid of any self-love that they refuse to make any effort on there appearance--that kind of self-aversion is also malignant. <BR/><BR/>Just occurred to me that a mirror in the bathroom is called a vanity mirror. Can we come up with a new word for that? It is actually quite self absorbed to go outside without checking your reflection. All the innocent people in the world should never have to look at me before I have fixed my hair and applied a little makeup. It is actually not a vanity mirror but maybe it is a "public service mirror."La Belette Rougehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05686717070120116918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-7220169545419724922008-04-03T08:39:00.000-07:002008-04-03T08:39:00.000-07:00Pseu, great post. <BR/>I believe that dressing neatly an appropropriately is one way that we can show respect for others. It sends the message that we care enought about them to go through the trouble to polish shoes, tuck in our shirts, wash our hair etc.<BR/><BR/>I also had a similar experience with my grandmother. She died at the age of 94 but up to the end she was coiffed and manicured and adorable.Belle de Villehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14045827018848979761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-78360005525412950372008-04-02T21:40:00.000-07:002008-04-02T21:40:00.000-07:00I was brought up on the ideas that vanity was bad ... and that I needed to be more vain (because I was 'letting myself go'). Right. Happily, I've embraced my quiet vanity, and I take pleasure in knowing that I can open my closet, put on anything I find in it and know I can walk out of the door looking 'together.'GirlGriothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10673240930615278979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-71516332127891133342008-04-02T13:34:00.000-07:002008-04-02T13:34:00.000-07:00Orane G - merci bien pour votre commentaires!<BR/><BR/>Jen - thank you!<BR/><BR/>duchesse - the French have a word (or phrase) for everything important, don't they? :-)<BR/><BR/>dana - yes, all of the English phrases are a bit awkward, perhaps reflecting our culture's ambivalence?<BR/><BR/>linda - yes, it can be a slippery slope. But I was thinking more in terms of "putting one's best foot forward" rather than attempting to fulfill patriarchal mandates. To me, it's about putting effort into whatever makes you feel presentable, and isn't limited to women. For men, it could mean polishing shoes, or putting on a clean shirt.Deja Pseuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16005855250089328310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-50017862406945639512008-04-02T12:20:00.000-07:002008-04-02T12:20:00.000-07:00My mother very explicitly said over and over that anyone who sought to look pretty was an idiot, so this area has always been a bit tricky for me. Plus there is, unfortunately, a huge overlap with society's many mandates regarding how women must look. (That is, the patriarchy's mandates, thinking here, inevitably, of Twisty.) If you succeed in living up to these externally imposed ideals, then men feel free to treat you like a toy, and if you don't, you earn derision, to a greater or lesser degree. Whew! Hard to sort it all out, what's for me and what's for others. My grandmother sounds similar to yours: Every day she dressed up, did her hair, put on her makeup and jewelry and went out and had a great time, until very near the end. (Which just may have something to do with my mother's stance on the whole thing!)Linda Atkinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17502605631259314881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-31470334469093610472008-04-02T10:39:00.000-07:002008-04-02T10:39:00.000-07:00"keeping up appearances" you're right, we need an English word (not just a sitcom title)danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09902311224633734779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-34268371689958092022008-04-02T07:59:00.000-07:002008-04-02T07:59:00.000-07:00Great post! I think the untranslatable French word sortable is helpful. It more or less means "you are well put together"- but it impleis more than "presentable".Duchessewww.passagedesperles.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-10450651012556433582008-04-02T06:34:00.000-07:002008-04-02T06:34:00.000-07:00V for Very Excellent PostJennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3151839528132084090.post-3165120843992336802008-04-02T06:33:00.000-07:002008-04-02T06:33:00.000-07:00Certes, une belle apparence plait à tous le monde,même à soi dans de mauvais moments. Merçi pour cette belle pensée. <BR/><BR/>Orane GrandmaïseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com